Tom Kuhman

I have been waiting for this day since the middle of 2007.  The Indians cut Joe Borowski!!!!!

The 2007 Saves Leader could not come back from an alleged “biceps injury”.  I don’t buy half the crap we hear from these GM’s.  I just love the way these players suck for a long time, and then, all of a sudden, they find out they are injured!!  I realize you want to play everyday, but if my arm was getting me a paycheck, and it hurt, I’d have checked on day 1.  I wouldn’t wait until I stunk up the stadium for a month then mention it.  Apparently, the GM can’t just come out and say things like, “Travis Hafner sucks this year” or “Joe Borowski has really sucked for a long time!”  As much as I hate to say it, Ozzie Guillen is so refreshing!!!

Back to the subject…Borowski was “designated for assignment!”  I remember, I was “designated for assignment” once while bartending for giving drinks to my friends.  The owner designated me out the door!  Borowski gave it up more than co-eds on spring break during his entire stint with the Indians.  While stumbling into 45 saves in 2007, he had an ERA above 5.00.  This year, he seemed on a mission to redefine the role of closer…closing the Indians chances of playing in October.  Joe, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

The Tribe also sent Rick Bauer (who?) into the limo with Borowski.  I’d love to see the Apprenticesque limo interview on these “designations”.  I can see Mark Shapiro, as the “Donald”,  “You’re DESIGNATED!”

The Indians brought Jensen “Twitch” Lewis and Brian Slocum up from Buffalo to take their roster spots.  I am interested to see how Slocum pitches.  He hasn’t been to the show since ‘06, but seemed to do well in a relief role for the Bisons in the last month.

The bigger problem now becomes, who is gonna lose games late for the Tribe now.  Damn, did I say that out loud?  I don’t think Kobayashi has the focus necessary to be a consistent closer.  I know Betancourt doesn’t.  Go back and read my earlier article about that…I’ll wait………

Okay, now that your back, I’d just like to add that I have given up beer.  I was apparently under the influence when I wrote that Franklin Gutierrez was going to have a break out year.  After some inspiration from Ozzie Guillen, for you, the reader, I would like to say, “Gutierrez sucks this year.”

Go Tribe.

Tom Kuhman

The line to get into Progressive Field is getting long.  With the way the Indians are playing, can you blame people?  Unfortunately, for most of us, it’s who you know.  It doesn’t matter how good you are.  Everyone wants to get in to face the Indians.  What?  Yes, I said face the Indians.  It seems anyone can come in and have a good day against Major Leaguers wearing Indians uniforms.  Hell, I’ll spend an afternoon throwing pitches at the Tribe for the league minimum of nearly $13,000 per game.  Teams having to face the Tribe at home should pick a fan from the stands to pitch.  Think of the attendance marks our competition could have!  The Tribe would pack them in, everywhere they went!  The TV ratings would be huge as well.  Talk about reality TV!  I can hear it now, “Peralta steps into the box.  Kuhman gets the sign.  Here’s the pitch…swing and a miss…Kuhman gets his tenth K of the game with a 60 mph fastball that locked Peralta up!”

Another pathetic outing today has ended the worst offensive (offensive is right!) month by the Indians in my lifetime.  OMG, worse than the Duane Kiper Indians?, the Jerry Dybzinski Indians?  No!…not worse than the Dybber!!  The Indians BA was 0.218 in the month of May.  The last team to bat that low was the 2003 Mets, WITHOUT A DH!!!!  The Indians haven’t stunk that bad for a month since 1968.  Someone call Charlie Sheen…time for Major League III.

Here’s a preview of the Texas series.  We may have a chance on Monday and Wednesday with Aaron Laffey and Cliff Lee.  They have a chance to hold the Rangers to a couple of runs.  C.C. may also have an opportunity on Thursday, if the offense can go all out and get him 3 runs.  Jake Westbrook is toast on Tuesday.  While I like him, he may give up 3-4 runs and that would spell disaster for the Tribe.  The Rangers are countering with Lil’ Timmy D’Angelo from Ft. Worth, TX.  His parents bought tickets as an end of summer surprise and the 9 year old was the lucky devil picked to start on Tuesday.  Martin Smith from Grand Prarie was picked from a hat to face Jake Westbrook on Tuesday.  Martin pitched in little league 29 years ago with an ERA of 9.52.  Sorry, I am too pissed to write anything serious about this team.

Here’s the truth, the Indians are down and luckily they are in the American League Central division.  The Tigers have fallen on their faces as well and the Royals, well…  The White Sox and Twins are showing some promise, but I don’t believe either is a very good team.  With the weak opposition the Indians may be able to turn it around and sneak into the post-season.

Pass the Kool-Aid.

Go Tribe!

Tom Kuhman

Just what the doctor ordered!  A weekend series with Kansas City.  I expect the Indians to start a little win streak of 4 or 5 games here, after a day off to regroup.  I hope they spent the day relaxing and not gripping over their swing or stance!  The Royals are the perfect opponent to jump start a offense that has seemed to only hit on 1 cylinder in a 10 cylinder engine.

We’ve got Cliff Lee going against Gil Meche on Friday night in Kaufman Stadium.  That’s a place I’d love to watch a game at.  I expect the Tribe will come to life against Meche.  They have historically done well against him.  Lee shut out the Royals in April and I look for more of the same.  Expect a Tribe victory, with 5 or 6 runs and KC lucky to get 2 against a struggling bullpen.

On Saturday, the re-energized C.C. Sabathia will beat down a weak Royals offense.  The Indians will face, uhhh, I know I have it on a card here…., Kyle Davies.  Davies has never beaten the Indians and Saturday won’t be his first.  The problem for the Indians is that he was just called up from Triple A.  It never ceases to amaze me that a pitcher in his first big league game or one that was just called up again has a great game against the Indians.  I am still predicting an easy Indians victory with another 6-7 runs.  C.C. may have his normal slow start, but he’ll settle in and only give up a few.

Sunday is a bit of a toss up, but I am a betting man.  Paul Byrd will have a good outing and hold the potent, (did I say potent?), errrr, impotent KC offense in check.  lol…I laugh because the Indians O has been just as impressive.  Brian Bannister will take the hill for the Royals.  He pitched a good one against them in April giving up just 2 runs in 6 2/3 innings.  This is one you should try to watch ‘cuz it’s gonna be a tight one.  Expect the Indians to win a squeaker.

Here’s to finding your bats against a weak pitching staff…cheers.

P.S. Went to the D-Backs game tonight hoping to see Randy Johnson take second on the all-time strikouts list.  He tied Roger “I don’t take steroids” Clemens at 4,672 K’s, and then left the game.  Damn.  Expect Clemens to try a comeback later in the year to catch up.

Go Tribe!