SOCCER: I am not making a comeback

First of all, I want to dispell any rumors of me making any sort of comeback to the playing field…especially since my options are either over 40s or Coed “B” level rec league (no sexism intended).

Unless I lose 35 pounds and put the remote down for the entire 48 hour weekend, my butt isn’t going anywhere on my days off except to the refrigerator to break up eight-hour stints on my tweed couch.

Aside from proclaiming my sendentaryism (is that really a word? If you bother to look it up, please let me know), there are other things around the soccer world that have me anything but sitting still about. Let’s roll them off…

Landon Donovan will not get signed by Bayern Munich. Maybe Podolski is on his way out, but do you really think one of the biggest clubs in the world is going to sign an American Softie to back up Toni? Gimmie a break! I’ve said it from day one and I still believe it, Landon is a crappy game all-star. And most of the games in MLS are crap, so he shines.

He will not go to Europe on a permanent basis ever! I will put serious money on that if you’d like. He’s at Bayern right now training to have some fun and get people off his ass then he will come back to the worst team in recent MLS memory (the Los Angeles Galaxy) and score goals and win the Golden Boot while his team doesn’t make the playoffs for the FOURTH consecutive year.

Ever since Landon came down from San Jose the Galaxy have sucked. Don’t even try to mention the first year he joined the team and they won the Double with Sampson coaching them.

They were lucky and are nothing but a tournament team. Too bad they are getting paid to play ENTIRE SEASONS.

Sean Franklin might have won the MLS Rookie of the Year Award, but I’m not sold on him being that good. Everytime I watched them play I would see him getting baked for a couple of goals. Whatever, I guess I don’t know anything, but please call me when he signs with a top flight club in Europe. You can reach me at 1-800-it’ll-never-happen.

Red Bulls vs. Columbus in the MLS Cup Final. Here’s my problem with that, the Crew belongs to be there, but the Red Bulls don’t! But again, what do I know…why play a respectable regular season when you can just eek out a few games in October and November and be gunning for MLS’ biggest prize.

Sigi in LA for the Final…I love it! Whoever was ultimately responsible for firing Sigi (Tim, we all know it was you!) must be hatin’ life right now. Sigi might be difficult at times (who isn’t, my wife claims I am…but she doesn’t know squat!)…but he wins…and wins a lot…something the Galaxy must think is an illusion right now.

Here’s my honest advice to the Galaxy. It’s hearthfelt and it’s correct and they should do it if they ever want to be NOT TERRIBLE again. Get rid of Landon. Who cares how many Golden Boot Awards he’s winning if you can’t make the playoffs.

Let go of Beckham…he’s gonna leave anyway, so get some money and run!

Poach Sigi from Columbus…I don’t care how much money it takes or how illegal it becomes…we all know he wants to be and belongs in LA.

Enjoy winning from time to time again!

Last thoughts…Maradona as Argentina’s new coach. I ask you this…does he have his USSF “A” license? If not, I have serious doubts about his ability to break down low-pressure defenses.

Ahsta mas tarde

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Last post (s) by Mark Lincir

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