Week 9 - Falcons Fly Into The Black Hole

Okay, so we’re off a disappointing loss that could potentially be attributed to a referee blowing a call, and our flagrant mis-use of timeouts that prohibited a coach’s challenge on the play (a muffed punt reception by Adam Jennings - or at least apparently so)…  Should that really affect the team’s morale heading into week 9?  Hell, no!

At the start of the season, I was penning the Falcons in as a 4-12 to 6-10 team.  There’s definitely enough time for that to be realized, but it would take some major effort on the team’s part to make it happen.  Essentially, they are better than even myself as a fan predicted.  It looks like 8-8 is a possibility.

Now, after a week of licking their collective wounds, the Dirty Birds descend on the Black Hole in Oakland, much like something out of a Hitchcock work.  And that, my friends, is exactly the mindset the team needs to have heading into a pivotal game.

Here’s what we’re looking at:

1. Matt Ryan is a rookie, and deserves some allowance for growing pains and mistakes.  Last week, many would have pointed to his two untimely interceptions as a sign of weakness, but overall, 7 picks in 7 games isn’t horrible.  I expect Ryan to be picked at least once by a reasonably talented Oakland secondary, especially corner DeAngelo Hall, the former Falcon.
2. Michael Turner is the league’s third best running back at this stage, and could have a big week.  With Oakland ranked 26th against the run on defence, it’s up to the play-callers in Atlanta to exploit possible holes on the ground.  Look for Turner to carry the bulk of running plays, while Jerious Norwood will be used more for trickery and behind-scrimmage passes on the flanks.
3. Atlanta must tighten up against the run, as Darren McFadden will likely be good to play.  The Birds are 23rd at defending against the run, which must improve if they want any outside chance at a wild-card berth in the playoffs.
4. Some good news for the secondary, in that Oakland is ranked 21st in the NFL in passes over 20 yards, which is often the Achilles’ Heel for the Falcons.  Eliminating the long ball is a key to success here, however, as the Raiders are 15th in terms of passes over 40 yards…  Still, that’s being very specific.

Overall, the Falcons are in good shape here, provided the defence isn’t caught in some of their usual shenanigans (like playing 8 yards off the ball against a team that passes underneath most of the time).  I think Matt Ryan will keep things simple, using the check-off receivers more frequently, including Norwood.  Roddy White might be the biggest statistical casualty, as he’ll likely draw DeAngelo Hall as his cover man.  Still, I expect him to hit about 65 yards on the day.

Checking beyond this week, things don’t get any easier, with games at home against the Saints, Broncos and Panthers before jetting out to play the Chargers and Saints on the road.  They then return home for the Bucs.  Depending on the overall success of those games, it could become interesting as the Falcons close out against the Vikings on the road, then the Rams at home…  Wouldn’t it be a great day in the nest if it still meant something??

Anyway, for this week’s gameplan, I’ve drawn up something special.  I’m gambling on the Raiders paying extra close attention to Roddy White, which limits our passing options.  Now, I’m thinking back to the 1986 John Carpenter classic - Big Trouble in Little China.  Stay with me here…

Some time between now and Sunday, we sign super-villain extraordinaire, Lo-Pan (played by 79-year old James Hong) to play running back.  See, this dude was KICK ASS!  He could walk through walls…  He had this weird light that would shoot out of his mouth, blinding anyone who looked at it (including Kurt Russell’s character, Jack Burton, who was so tough he might stand a chance against Chuck Norris, but that’s a debate for another time)…  Lo-Pan even had these crazy long finger nails that he could use to channel ancient Chinese black magic by wiggling his fingers like he was playing an old Nintendo system!!!

Anyway, I’m thinking we use him as a running back, but sparingly.  We don’t need any more controversy after the whole Vick thing, so we can’t afford to have a near octogenarian die of exhaustion on the field from overusing his semi-etherial demonic powers…

Just think how demoralizing it would be to the Raiders’ defence to have a frail, 79-year old Chinese dude who weighs in at all of about a buck-thirty running literally RIGHT THROUGH THEM!!!  I’m betting it would be killer effective!!!

Also, on any play where we’re kicking to Oakland, whether punt, kickoff or field goal attempt, Lo-Pan would use that light-out-of-the-mouth magic to blind the receiving/blocking team.

Finally, if Jason Elam ever looks like a kick is going wide, Lo-Pan could use the nintendo-finger thing to correct the flight of the ball, assuring us of 3 points!

Pretty brilliant, huh!?!?

This week’s recipe:

Raider Romp Ribs

What You’ll Need:

For the Meat:

• Rack of Pork Side Ribs
• Montreal Chicken Spice
• Garlic Powder
• Onion Powder
• Dried Thyme

For the Baste/Glaze:

• 2 Cups Chicken Stock
• Jack Daniels Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey
• Beer (lager)
• 1/2 Cup Ketchup
• 1/2 Cup Prepared Mustard
• 1/2 Cup Soya Sauce
• 3 Cloves Garlic
• 3 Green Onions
• Garlic Powder
• Onion Powder
• Dried Thyme
• Dried Rosemary
• Ground Black Pepper
• Bay Leaf
• Hot Sauce (optional)

How To Prepare:

First of all, you want to start this well in advance.  So, wake up with the wife and kids (or husband and kids for our female readers), and get this going after breakfast…  Kids can be great helpers too, so get them involved!

1. Cut off any “silver skin” from the ribs.  This is a fatty membrane that you don’t need, as it makes the meat chewy and tough.  It is also a barrier to flavour absorbtion!
2. Lightly brush the ribs on both sides with some Olive Oil.
3. Combine equal parts of garlic and onion powder.  Add about 1/2 overall quantity of dried thyme.  Combine this with an equal amount of Montreal Chicken Spice.
4. Cover ribs generously with spice-rub mixture.  Let sit for about 1/2 hour.  *** See Below ***
5. Preheat oven to 275* F
6. Place ribs meat-side down in shallow Pyrex baking dish coated with vegetable oil non-stick spray.  Place in oven and let cook for 2.5-3 hours.

***After STEP 4 above, begin making baste/glaze.  Follow directions below while ribs are sitting, and when in oven.

1. Bring chicken stock to a boil in saucepan
2. Slowly whisk in ketchup and mustard and soya sauce
3. For ever lb of ribs, add 200 ml of beer and one oz of Jack Daniels’
4. Let simmer on steady but slow boil
5. While liquid simmers, smash garlic and finely chop green onions, then add to saucepan
6. Add equal portions of garlic and onion powders, and about half that amount of dried thyme and a quarter of the amount of rosemary (for one rack of about 1.5lbs, it’s a good bet that three tablespoons of garlic powder and onion powder would do, then follow scale for thyme and rosemary)
7. Continue simmering until ribs are about 15 minutes from completion in the oven - liquid should be reduced to about half it’s original volume
8. Add hot sauce (about a teaspoon for mild, tablespoon for medium, two tablespoons for “Hiroshima”) and let simmer for additional 15 minutes or until ribs are at 3 hrs in oven.
9. Season with black pepper to taste.

Remove ribs from oven, fire up the BBQ to about 400* F.

Final Stage:

1. Place ribs on BBQ once temperature is reached
2. Generously glaze the ribs with reduced liquid (sauce)
3. Continue glazing and turning ribs until a crisp outside layer is formed and glaze starts blackening.  DO NOT OVERCOOK AT THIS STAGE!!!

Grab a beer, get in front of the TV, and enjoy the game!  GO FALCONS!

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