I can now say that I have seen it all. In the hours leading up to today’s much-anticipated final between Spain and Germany, I was watching the Galalxy (how the heck are they in first place? Oh yeah, the Western Conference is god-awful) vs. DC United game…suddenly a flash came across the screen stating that the channel ABC15 would be undergoing routine maintenance and would be out of commission for a while.

A while? This was at 10 am my time with the Euro Final starting at noon…no problem, I thought initially…this can’t be more than a few minutes fix, right?

WRONG!

Two hours later and no picture…but I did like the note that they had on the screen that read “NO NEED TO CALL, WE KNOW THE SCREEN IS OUT” or something to that affect.

What it should have read is…”WE KNOW YOU’RE AN AMERICAN SOCCER GUY AND WE JUST WANTED TO SCREW YOU ONE MORE TIME.”

I wonder if this would ever happen to the Superbowl or World Series? Not in a million years buddy…because those events are too important…but this little thing called the Euro Cup…no big deal. Scheduling maintenance on a national television channel between 10 and 4 pm on a Sunday? I want the channel to email me the next time that they plan on doing that….oh wait, let me guess, it will probably be sometime during July in 2010.

I have always thought that there was a conspiracy against the game of soccer in the U.S. and now there is NO DOUBT in my mind. Like I said, this would have NEVER have happened with any other sport, let alone one of the most globally watched events in the history of mankind.

So as I’m cussing at the screen and calling my satelite provider who was about as much help as a referee when you need the latest interpretation of the offside rule, I couldn’t help but think that all the people who I had invited to my Euro Final party would be faced with a blank screen when the arrived at my house. Perfect!

But there is a happy ending to this story.

My neighbors are out of town and we are watching their house. Actually, my wife is doing all the things that go into watching it…I look out my window from time to time and make a mental note that the house to the west of me is still there. Watching it, right? I’m a pretty literal (pun intended) guy.

So I told my wife to go over and see if they had another cable company (I will not name any of the companies, because I think that they’re all totally useless) that I had heard from my network of soccer friends was carrying the game and actually did have a picture on their screen. My absent neighbors did have the cable company that did have the game and that house did become the site of MY party.

When was the last time you hosted a party at your neighbor’s house when they weren’t even there? There’s a first time for everything I guess. We moved all the food and beverages over there and tried to get the air conditioner fired up as best we could, but with triple digit temps, it never got as comfortable as we all wished…but at least we were watching the FINAL!!! Thanks Brad and Sharon, I owe ya! If something’s broken…I didn’t do it!

I was glad to see Spain win even though I called Germany in overtime and in a 3-2 goalfest. I was surprised that Spain did so well in the back. Torres was a man possessed and finished a great goal to win it. He looked every bit worth the big-time coin that Liverpool is paying him today. The whole team is stacked. I loved watching Cesc start and play well, but still don’t understand bringing him off.

I didn’t think the ref had anything to do with the outcome, so it was good to see the better team on the day win, no questions asked. There is a major problem brewing in my household though. My Julie Foudy loving wife WON our Euro Pick Em Group.

Talk about the tv going out as unbelievable…how about the wife suddenly looking like an expert? It hurts…so much I feel like my appendix just burst…but she actually does play the game and in all reality doesn’t think Julie Foudy knows anything (that was her prize…I had to admit she knows this game and that she isn’t a JF fan)…it pains me, but I can’t deny her the title.

My friends all left and as I gave each a hug on their way out they asked when we would all see each other again…I told them blunty.

Summer of 2010 and not a day earlier.

TOMORROW: Some final thoughts and the name of the new cable company that I am starting.

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