I can now say that I have seen it all. In the hours leading up to today’s much-anticipated final between Spain and Germany, I was watching the Galalxy (how the heck are they in first place? Oh yeah, the Western Conference is god-awful) vs. DC United game…suddenly a flash came across the screen stating that the channel ABC15 would be undergoing routine maintenance and would be out of commission for a while.
A while? This was at 10 am my time with the Euro Final starting at noon…no problem, I thought initially…this can’t be more than a few minutes fix, right?
WRONG!
Two hours later and no picture…but I did like the note that they had on the screen that read “NO NEED TO CALL, WE KNOW THE SCREEN IS OUT” or something to that affect.
What it should have read is…”WE KNOW YOU’RE AN AMERICAN SOCCER GUY AND WE JUST WANTED TO SCREW YOU ONE MORE TIME.”
I wonder if this would ever happen to the Superbowl or World Series? Not in a million years buddy…because those events are too important…but this little thing called the Euro Cup…no big deal. Scheduling maintenance on a national television channel between 10 and 4 pm on a Sunday? I want the channel to email me the next time that they plan on doing that….oh wait, let me guess, it will probably be sometime during July in 2010.
I have always thought that there was a conspiracy against the game of soccer in the U.S. and now there is NO DOUBT in my mind. Like I said, this would have NEVER have happened with any other sport, let alone one of the most globally watched events in the history of mankind.
So as I’m cussing at the screen and calling my satelite provider who was about as much help as a referee when you need the latest interpretation of the offside rule, I couldn’t help but think that all the people who I had invited to my Euro Final party would be faced with a blank screen when the arrived at my house. Perfect!
But there is a happy ending to this story.
My neighbors are out of town and we are watching their house. Actually, my wife is doing all the things that go into watching it…I look out my window from time to time and make a mental note that the house to the west of me is still there. Watching it, right? I’m a pretty literal (pun intended) guy.
So I told my wife to go over and see if they had another cable company (I will not name any of the companies, because I think that they’re all totally useless) that I had heard from my network of soccer friends was carrying the game and actually did have a picture on their screen. My absent neighbors did have the cable company that did have the game and that house did become the site of MY party.
When was the last time you hosted a party at your neighbor’s house when they weren’t even there? There’s a first time for everything I guess. We moved all the food and beverages over there and tried to get the air conditioner fired up as best we could, but with triple digit temps, it never got as comfortable as we all wished…but at least we were watching the FINAL!!! Thanks Brad and Sharon, I owe ya! If something’s broken…I didn’t do it!
I was glad to see Spain win even though I called Germany in overtime and in a 3-2 goalfest. I was surprised that Spain did so well in the back. Torres was a man possessed and finished a great goal to win it. He looked every bit worth the big-time coin that Liverpool is paying him today. The whole team is stacked. I loved watching Cesc start and play well, but still don’t understand bringing him off.
I didn’t think the ref had anything to do with the outcome, so it was good to see the better team on the day win, no questions asked. There is a major problem brewing in my household though. My Julie Foudy loving wife WON our Euro Pick Em Group.
Talk about the tv going out as unbelievable…how about the wife suddenly looking like an expert? It hurts…so much I feel like my appendix just burst…but she actually does play the game and in all reality doesn’t think Julie Foudy knows anything (that was her prize…I had to admit she knows this game and that she isn’t a JF fan)…it pains me, but I can’t deny her the title.
My friends all left and as I gave each a hug on their way out they asked when we would all see each other again…I told them blunty.
Summer of 2010 and not a day earlier.
TOMORROW: Some final thoughts and the name of the new cable company that I am starting.
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7 Responses to “EURO FINAL: Spain Victory and Conspiracies”
Posted: 06/29/08 at 4:44 pm
I would like to use this time to introduce my new scoring system for soccer that will have it accepted in The United States:
*Goals are worth 6 (just like a touchdown)
*Hitting the post is worth 3 (That is almost scoring a goal, just like a fieldgoal, they almost made it down the field, but not quiet).
*Earning a corner kick is worth 2 (Just like a safety, pinning them in their own end).
*If your goal was a 1 time finish, you get a point (just like a PAT in football)
*You get 2 points if you finish a goal with the head (2 point conversion)
So now we will have high scoring action, and we wont have to stop every 10 seconds for a breather and a water break and 5 substitutions.
Late
Posted: 06/29/08 at 5:38 pm
I like it…forwarded it to US Soccer and they’ve already adapted it. It’s all mandated by midnight tonight. Overtime will include two-ball soccer…first ball to go in wins!
Posted: 06/29/08 at 6:00 pm
christiano renaldo is dating some smoking hot spainiard, something fishy there….
Posted: 06/29/08 at 6:30 pm
The floodgates will open Tuesday (summer transfer window)…stay tuned…Ronaldo is going to Real to join the rest of the glamour boys.
Posted: 06/30/08 at 2:51 am
I watched some of the match yesterday, and I have to be honest with you, why is it that every time that I glanced over at the game someone was lying on the ground crying?
(I’m not trying to make fun of “soccer”, because it is a very good sport, but literally almost every time I watched the match someone was hurt, or acting hurt.) Do they have a rule in soccer, where if you fake an injury, you get a card? cause they should!
That German player who had the gash on his eye, got the worst hit, and he didn’t even go down though! unbelievable!
Congrats to Spain!!!!!
Posted: 06/30/08 at 7:30 pm
Hey mark sorry for sounding dumb i don’t follow soccer a whole lot, Real refers to real madrid? Is that spain? Is he not playing for portugal? I thought you had to play where you were from….like olympics…no?
Sorry for an obviously dumb sounding question to those involved in this sport.
Posted: 06/30/08 at 7:44 pm
You do have to play where you’re from…technically (there are Brazilians littered all over the world now)…I was referring to his club situation where he might leave Manchester United to join Real Madrid. The madness of the transfer window starts tomorrow, so I’m sure we’ll hear more about it soon! It’s never stupid if it’s helping somebody follow the game, that’s my philosophy.